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Yet, where Tinder acts as a gateway app for some daters (from which they move onto apps more aligned with their specific desires), for others it remains the best of the bunch.
When Samantha Karjala started using apps to meet more people in her small Northeastern town, she was annoyed at what they implied.
It describes itself as a place to “meet open-minded couples and singles near you,” making it the premiere app for unicorns and those who want a more openly kink-friendly app experience.
While that may sound pretty niche, Veronica*, 35, who lives in Queens, says Feeld became her favorite dating app.
“I think I most enjoyed the bios, because it really shows what people think is important enough to say in a few words.” Her bio was a Nicki Minaj lyric that she says, “sparked a lot of conversations”—including one with the guy who would later become her husband.
Julia* lives in Maine and, though she says she’s had the most success meeting people via Bumble, kept Tinder for her work trips.
But then, “I woke up one day and decided I wanted to have a threesome, and that’s how I came to download Feeld,” she says.
“It’s a bummer, because I used it to meet cool people to expand my dating pool, which was helpful with the radius feature on Tinder.” She says that, despite some annoying responses from dudes, she was just out of a relationship and wanted to stick with using the app.They provide a way to meet people on a user’s own schedule, which potentially democratizes the whole dating process. Carrie Bradshaw was clearly a con artist.) To look at it from a distance, the future of dating is easy and great! If dating apps are supposed to take the headache out of trying to meet someone, it's not a good sign that so many daters consider them a necessary evil at best and just plain evil at worst.Iliza Shlesinger, in her new Netflix special, , has a bit about online dating.There are stats that say marriages among people who met on an app are less likely to end after the first year, and despite a big cultural annoyance about the process, the vast majority of Americans think that, ultimately, apps a good way to meet people.Even anecdotally, a lot of the people I spoke to for this piece—all of whom self-identified as dating app haters—nevertheless met their long-term partner on an app.So given the evidence, and the fact that it’s totally okay to think dating online sucks and still do it anyway, I wanted to know: Which apps come most recommended by people who fuckin’ hate to date? Some of their answers won’t surprise you—even if their reasoning does—while other options are refreshingly new.For many modern daters, the name “Tinder" should be accompanied by the Darth Vader theme song.“We didn't have to hide those facets of ourselves, and that made it easier—at least for me—to feel good about just getting to know him and figure out that we had a genuine connection.” Hinge may seem like it plays second-fiddle to the likes of Tinder, but it has a pretty elite user base (99 percent of its daters went to college, for example).Hinge’s CEO compared his app to Facebook, versus Tinder’s Myspace—sometimes for interface reasons (Hinge is aimed at the college-educated set) and sometimes for class reasons (much has been written on the ways dating app algorithms may favor white people).“To start with, the fact that I was on there looking for hot and fun people to hook up with, and anyone I matched with was looking for the same, meant that I got to skip the awkward first few dates,” she tells me.“It also meant that I knew what I was in for, so I was never worried about someone suddenly becoming a slimeball.