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The last includes more substantial personal profiles.Through a series of questions, the company’s website and app invite you to describe what you are doing with your life and to list your favourite music, books, and TV shows.I was searching for a committed relationship with a supportive partner, someone I could love deeply and who shared my values and goals.Like many singles, I had created an online dating profile. Now I decided to take it more seriously—these days, I seem to hear fewer and fewer stories of real life meet-cutes.You may also start talking to someone only to realize that you are no longer interested in getting to know them better.

On the day I completed my profile, I received one message; four more appeared over the next two days.Some of my friends pegged my situation to an intimidation factor.I’m a lawyer working toward a Ph D in management, and I am a serious athlete, competing internationally for Canada in Ultimate Frisbee.A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.But given the extremely low probability that any given message will lead to a serious relationship, it’s not.On the whole, users said they liked my profile and my pictures.One man called the post “incredible,” noting that he was himself a former “serial online dater [who] really longed for this kind of vulnerability, authenticity and depth.” At the time, he was in a relationship, but he also commented, “You sound like you’re intelligent, fun and genuinely have your shit together.” Nonetheless, I hired a professional photographer and tried out different variations on my profile text. Following a romance in my early twenties with an older man who, I eventually accepted, was simply at a different stage of life, I went through a series of short relationships of varying significance.I met lovely men—many of whom remain my friends—but by my mid-thirties, I still hadn’t met anyone with whom I felt that same degree of connection and passion I had known with my first love.This trickle continued for the next year and two months, averaging two messages a day.I didn’t just wait to be noticed: I also actively messaged others.

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