Dating a sex addict woman
Sex addicts use behaviors rather than substances as coping mechanisms.These might include masturbation, compulsive viewing of pornography, infidelity, one-night stands and a host of other ‘acting out’ practices that undermine the ability to form intimate bonds with another human being.So if a wife/girlfriend complains that her husband/boyfriend wants sex all the time and is there for a "sex addict", she is wrong?There is no such thing as being a sex addict and expressing it by wanting too much partnered fun and loving sex?Sometimes the addict has been off the dating scene for years and is returning as an older person.
Which is why the point you're trying to make is not a recommendation -- it's not supposed to be a scenario to begin with, and if it's happening, the help has no control in the first place.Of course, these choices brought the addict much pain, and now post-recovery, he or she must tolerate a temporary loss of autonomy, sharing with a therapist, a 12-step group sponsor and even a support group the everyday minutia of their dating process.Here the addict may long to keep just one or two secrets, but to do so would be counterproductive to the entire recovery process.When to reveal is something that the addict and their sponsor would discuss. Not everyone will understand, or some people may abuse the person's addiction.(You might remember the silly scenario on Desperate Housewives...well, it happens.) Anyway, I believe in full disclosure..the timing is subjective.A valid question to ask, I think, because there are many wives who make this accusation of their husbands who are "constantly wanting to have sex with them".This article stresses the need for transparency, but only with therapists, 12 step group members, and the like.Likewise for the woman who always seems to get involved with unavailable, married men, a truly present, drama-free suitor can be deemed ‘boring.’ These unique challenges can be overcome, of course, but the sex addict will have their work cut out for them. The sex addict is used to instant gratification, and may not have the patience to invest in a long term relationship that builds gradually through shared interests and time spent getting to know one another.This impossible ‘slowness’ that intimacy requires may frustrate and confuse the addict, who no doubt is in a rush to form a relationship after so many months spent healing in celibacy.Hi Autumn, My experience with slaa is that disclosure comes at a certain point when getting to know someone. Admitting to this kind of addiction is very different from substance addictions.Alcoholics often readily admit they're alcoholics - with great pride even, but it's a different thing for this program. I would not tell a potential partner that I'm in slaa until their trust has been *earned*.