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Meanwhile, if Keegan is Captain Taciturn, Diane’s date Dan is his polar opposite.In 30 seconds he reveals that he’s never had a girlfriend, never had a drink, kissed his first girl at 19, lost his virginity at 24, and went on a really bad trip to Disney World once. She was receptive to his personality — not his looks, though, definitely not his looks. And it looks like Dan is finally going to kiss another girl!This time, shy Keegan chooses to rely on his brawny muscles to do the talking rather than actually talking.(This show is the perfect place for him to meet women.) Their charming DIY spa date essentially turns into soft porn as they rub each other down with “spa mud” and wrestle on the beach.She said that her producers guaranteed her that none of her private assets would be revealed on the screens.

On last night’s episode, we finally got an answer in the form of Katie, who is the living embodiment of all VH1’s radical ambitions, the show’s raison d’etre.

I fell into a deep hypnosis listening to him talk and talk while stress hives slowly crept up his back. Back at the Jungle Villa, things go from porno to PSA as Keegan turns into a total alpha-male meathead.

He takes one look at poor Dan, gingerly sipping his first margarita like a 16-year-old at TGI Fridays and says, “I would have made that kid cry in high school.” His total jock-douche shtick is a huge turn-off.

Then she meets Scott, a manly man who tickles all of her primal urges.

He goes right in for the hug, attempting to dick-poke her because that’s went men do.

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