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However, I recently went on a date with a guy who was tall, handsome, funny and had his shit (relatively) together. I responded saying it was all over my Ok Cupid profile, which it turns out he never read.
We met in the late afternoon and enjoyed our frozen yogurt in perfect patio weather. At the end of the date, our first kiss quickly turned into a handsy makeout session in the backseat of my car. He said, “I’m bouncing; that’s f-cked up,” and jumped out of the car, spat on the ground, slammed the car door and walked away.
While most people only consider the profile pic before swiping right or left, for me, the text on my profile is crucial.
Even since Tinder introduced more genders to choose from than just the binary male and female, it doesn’t show your gender on the swiping screen.
As I click, message and swipe through the world of online dating, I’ve quickly learned that there are at least three different types of guys: those who fetishize trans women, those who are curious but cautious, and those who simply don’t read.
Unfortunately, these labels don’t appear on their profiles.
As a 22-year-old grad starting a career in fashion (and hopefully, one day, my own size-inclusive clothing line), I am drawn to guys who are funny and ambitious.
There’s no bigger turn-off than someone who does the bare minimum—except maybe body odour. Being 5’9″, I still like to be able to look up to my man, literally.
His silence told me exactly how much I meant to him.So, whenever I see 6’2″ or taller on a guy’s profile, it’s almost an automatic right swipe.As a trans woman on dating apps, I’ve always made sure that guys are aware that I am transgender. There have also been many documented cases of trans women being hurt and sometimes even killed when they disclose their status to transphobic men that found them attractive, so being completely transparent is also a way of protecting myself from potentially dangerous situations.After that, I stopped chasing guys who were too concerned about their feelings to even think about mine.Red flags like continually postponing dates and constantly asking, “When are you getting the surgery?Before it went further, I did my routine check of asking, “You know I’m right? I sat in the back seat of my car in complete shock.In that moment, I was mostly concerned about my safety.After realizing that I deserved so much better and was wasting my time with these guys, I stopped giving them attention.After one too many encounters with men who were fetishizing me, I started to spend time on guys who actually wanted to get to know me.These guys want to chill somewhere less public or exclusively at their place so they won’t be seen with me.I have actually “dated” (if you can even call it that) some of these men, including one guy who checked his apartment’s hallway to make sure his neighbours wouldn’t see me leave his place.