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Meet Up advertises events that happen all over the world, and they have some oddly specific events.For example, if you're a libertarian vegetarian who lives in Minnesota and you like dressing in clown make-up and juggling live sharks, there's probably a meet-up for that. Cause it's not like you don't already have 30 million bajillion things to do. If you do it regularly, you'll meet people who care about the same things you care about.Friendship is cultivated through spending time together, and your friendship will likely transform the more you get to know each other. Taking radical responsibility in your friendship-making also means that you take it upon yourself to reach out.Staying optimistic about new friends (and not making snap judgments about friendship potential), continuing to show up at social gatherings, and checking in. When you meet someone initially, make sure you follow up and find more time to connect.Even when we are surrounded by people, we may still be clueless about how to turn those people into friends. When we were younger, we used to find ourselves in contexts that had all the ingredients for nurturing friendships: continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability.As I’ve been writing a book on making friends as an adult, I’ve come to recognize the various abilities that each of us can cultivate in order to make friends. As adults, we no longer inhabit these contexts by default.Being one of those workaholic, live-in girlfriends myself, I’ve shopped for friends on Hey Vina! So don’t be like the average American—go make new buds, now. Making friends when you're younger just happens naturally. So what do you do if you wake up one morning and realize you don't have any people?
Inviting someone to hang out, checking in to see how someone is doing, and commenting on someone’s posts on social media.
I don't enjoy being the person that's doing the heavy lifting while the prospective friend simply accepts or rejects ideas I propose. D., was previously a professor at Georgia State University, where she became an academic expert on friendship.
She currently works as a policy fellow at Millenium Challenge Corporation.
But making friends as an adult is more like seeing the gynecologist. Where do you start without resorting to combing loud bars filled with people who are actually as young as you feel but who look like middle schoolers? I can't guarantee you won't feel like you're about to get the speculum or that you won't fall on your face and spill something that stains on something really expensive.
But the actually doing it...well, it's about as fun as a brief encounter with a freezing cold speculum while your panties are in a wad on a plastic chair in a freezing cold (and poorly lit) office. OK, so maybe I'm being dramatic, but unless you're one of those natural social butterflies or one of the rare birds who still regularly hangs out with all your high school friends, finding new people is tough. Even science has looked at the issue of adult friendships and found that without serious work, it's basically all downhill once you hit your late 20s.